2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
