tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
