I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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