I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
