forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
