Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
