Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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