I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
