mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
