I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
that is very illegal...i love you.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
