im drinking this country out of the recession.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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