im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize