2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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