Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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