I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
