Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
