somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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