"it" just moved
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
