She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Vodka?
Forever.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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