i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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