you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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