Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
