Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
True but thats because hes a fetus.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
