I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
