we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I still have a little drunk in my system
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
