absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
