Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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