I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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