i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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