I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
