omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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