Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
