there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
