It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
