it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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