Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
