i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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