I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
