I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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