Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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