jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
