Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
