If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
