READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
