Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
