all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize