well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Who died my cat blue again?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
