I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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