I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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