i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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