I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You were trust falling into bushes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
