Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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