We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
