lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
