the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
