I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
