What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
