what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
