Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
