Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
