Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry damn_gurl hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(281): View more from Texas

I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.

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(305): View more from Florida

Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.

Fav 4 1659 900
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(303): View more from Colorado

U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

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(410): View more from Maryland

WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN

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(207): View more from Maine

My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??

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(602): View more from Arizona

I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

The truth is better her than my wife.

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