i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
