It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Welp...herpes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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