The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
