we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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