At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
