now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
