Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
