this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
